Hacked By Imam with Love
In an interesting turn of events, a local man called authorities after becoming concerned when Lisa suddenly stopped posting her overly annoying Facebook posts. “Rarely, would an hour go by without seeing another useless rant from her. It goes on all day, every day. No one cares.”
But someone did care and took notice. “You expect these worthless posts in your feed,” Billy stated, “and you expect to get pissed. It became apparent that I was missing something… missing getting pissed off!”
And so he decided to call 911 and report a missing post. Although the dispatcher initially laughed at his request, she soon realized this was no laughing matter when he told her the post was missing for over an hour now. Police responded to Lisa’s residence and found her internet connection dropped. They moved quickly to free her modem and reset the channel. Within minutes, her useless, self-absorbed, and hashtag overload posts were live again.
Billy has since decided to hide Lisa’s posts, but checks on her from time to time. As for Lisa, she continues to offer the world minute by minute advice and tips on everything we aren’t looking for, and everything we didn’t ask for. She thinks otherwise. #annoyinghashhole
Thank you Jessica Salyer for inviting me to your Author Interview Blog Series. Definitely a revealing interview. Check it out :
Combat Veteran. Farmer. Fitness Guru.
The New Balance of Life
by JASON LEBOWITZ | November 5, 2012
LORREN POGSON, a 33-year-old Combat Veteran (Operation Enduring Freedom/Operation Iraqi Freedom), Former Army Captain, Farmer, Construction Worker, Personal Trainer and Fitness Instructor, is a true inspiration to all. With the ability to balance such a rigorous schedule, it only seems fit to now study for an MBA in Project Management. Holy Excellent! Lorren may favor the minimalist approach to footwear, but she certainly maximizes living life. Her unconventional, innovative training style proves just why she is so effective when it comes to fitness.
How do you train?
I train like I fight! As a farmer and construction hand, I am constantly moving, twisting, turning, lifting, and standing. This requires great endurance, stability and form. So I train my body in these movements. Working on proper lifting assists me in keeping good form in the fields and on the job; therefore minimizing potential injury. I use free weights and my own body weight for cardio and weight training. I LOVE jump roping, swimming, mountain biking and climbing trees.
Describe a ‘typical’ Lorren workout
I work out almost everyday. The intensity and focus of my workouts vary depending upon which muscle groups I worked the day prior. I change up my exercises constantly so I don’t get into a routine and bore my muscles.
My workouts consist of:
- WARM-UP (Jumping Jacks and High Knees)
- CARDIO (Mountain Climbers, Plank Jacks, Jump Rope)
- MUSCLE DEVELOPMENT (Weighted Lunges, BOSU Ball Squats with Weights, Squats and Press, Spiderman Push-ups and Kickboxing)
This is by no means an all inclusive list of my exercises. I combine military moves into my workouts, often calling cadence for people as they do Jumping Jacks, 4-Count Push-ups and Flutter Kicks.
Tell me about some of your outdoor fitness training
I love being outside and anytime I can do a workout in the open air, I will. I set up bales of straw and run hurdles, swim in the river, and climb a tree and do pull-ups.
“Exercise keeps me calm. If I am inactive, I am stir-crazy.”
Maintaining a healthy body through exercise helps me excel within my line of work. It keeps me strong enough to lift a few tons of produce a day, frame a house, play with my niece, or just be plain tough and ready for whatever comes my way. When I exercise, I feel indestructible.
How has the Army helped develop your approach to fitness?
I have earned numerous Army fitness awards. I love obstacle courses and hand-to-hand combat routines. At one point during my training, I was doing up to 500 push-ups a day. The Army training tapped into a potential that I had barely acknowledged. I knew it was there but had no concept of how to access it.
It let me be strong, aggressive and determined. I became competitive and very proud of what I can accomplish. I used to put weights in my rucksack and go for runs or hikes for a few hours at a time- good way to clear the head.
A year ago, I earned my certificate for Group Fitness Instruction and teach Boot Camp classes at Fitbody training studio in Avon, CT. I attended Army “boot camp” in 2000 and apply the training activities and determination learned during that time, to my classes. My clients’ self-esteem changes as they realize their potential. Their bodies change as they are introduced to unfamiliar and challenging activities.
“We develop as a team. Strong, Proud and Sweaty!”
Looking ahead, what’s next?
What I hope to do is incorporate farming and fitness into one. I would like to have my own farm where people can come and take fitness classes, get a massage and head out to the fields and pick their own food. They will bring their food into the kitchen and the chef will prepare whatever they have chosen. They get the benefits of fresh food and the physical benefits of harvesting it. There is no exercise like farming.
What is your connection with New Balance?
The Minimus- Love the Minimus because a year-and-a-half ago, I slipped a disc in my lower back. I had been running and doing yoga, shoveling snow, and finally, my back gave out.
“The Minimus allows me to run and jump without pain- something no other shoe can do for me.”
My body hits the ground and adjusts itself appropriately. I can feel what is beneath me and can alter my course and activity as necessary.
Sharp. Influential. Dialed In To Life. We look forward to following Lorren’s constant changing course as she continues to inspire countless others along the way. It’s no wonder she significantly impacts, and positively changes her client’s lives every single day. The only roadblock so far has been the limitation of days in a week. Like everything else in her life, if there’s a way to change it, she will find it. And I don’t want to be the one standing in her way when that happens.
A Matchmaker’s Guide to Fiction Writing
by JASON LEBOWITZ on October 31, 2012
Dating. Love It or Hate It. First dates can advance to second dates. They can just as easily resort back to first dates. Repeat. The Compatibility Evolution.
This same theory holds true between Reader and Writer. Specifically, your initial impression. We all search for the perfect book. But it begins with the perfect first sentence. And then the next few. Let’s explore the relationship.
I know how much you love to write. Your life revolves around it. Writers love words! We obsess over words. We appreciate the way they look, sound and feel. Readers love words too! And nothing is more captivating than compelling conversations between the two. Establish that Reader/Writer connection. Entice your readers by creating story interest strong enough right from the first word. Slowly, reveal more to each other.
“Yeah,” you say. “I have this ability.” Charming. Does that guarantee a match? Not yet. A first date is a lot like a first chapter. Initial writing impressions happen during the introduction phase. Is sentence number one inviting or is it a turnoff? Does it spark interest? As the date continues, how do you get along? Does your reader find you attractive? Is there chemistry? Are they intrigued and want more, or bored and can’t wait for this date to end?
So how do we create instant writers appeal? How do we unlock this secret formula? Does the answer remain in some ancient textbook called ‘Words, Sentence Structures and Composition?’ I don’t believe in a formula, but more of a Fine-Tuning process.
Here are two different versions of the opening chapter in my novel:
- They called it the Battle of Timbuktu due to its intolerable junior high school marching band sound. It was dark and cold out on this late November night. The battle reminded me of those seventh and eighth graders performing out of tune. It could be compared to their halftime show. But this was sophisticated human interaction and was devastating. In the corner of the bedroom was an original 1954 transistor radio pleading for the couple’s harmonic balance.
- The Battle of Timbuktu began. It was comparable and equally as tolerable as a junior high school marching band. Think of circular, sporadically chaotic movement on the football field, when the seventh and eighth graders perform their first halftime show. Out of step and out of tune. Mutilation. Only this was sophisticated human interaction. Devastation. There in the bedroom corner, an original 1954 transistor radio pleads for the couple’s harmonic balance.
Although extremely similar in word content, Example Two engages the reader, whereas Example One bores the reader. Simply by controlling word placement, the dynamic drastically changes.
You can create words that flow gracefully, or you can painfully force too many overly descriptive words together in one small overloaded and unformatted sentence to create resistance and a complicated reading experience. Sometimes words need space apart from each other. Other times they can be close and even on top of one another making out. Making love. Whether your writing style is elegant and precise, or gritty and downright dirty, romance your date first. Don’t overwhelm them in sentence one. Too much information too early leads to another date one. Word Dating can work in your favor. It can also prove fatal.
Remember, all words are not created equal. Neither are readers. That doesn’t prevent you from going out again. You just need to give them a reason for a second date.
Interview and Book Preview
Recently, I was featured in The Indie Spotlight Author Interview series. Not only will you gain insight into the creative writing process for The Simplistic Approach: A Novel, but you can also read the first chapter for FREE! Click the link and enjoy.
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Throughout the storm, posts have been transformed into pages. Pages have reset to posts. Settings Customized. Tuning Maximized. Controller Specialized. Site is Compartmentalized. Head is spinning. Eyes are burning. Neck is hurting. And here we are. Can you hear me?
Charlie Waters, an architect by trade, develops mind-altering plans for his future wife. His best friend, Bulldog Fred, engineers the design into reality. Together, Charlie and Bulldog are on an endless search for the perfect counter; never quite satisfied with their significant other. Selfishly trapped inside an analytical obsession for perfection, constantly, they rethink what a beautiful love story is made of; continuously reworking the equation. All of the insecurities, nuances and flaws in a relationship, lead them to the ultimate encounter; an ending approach that will leave any simplistic questions answered and oddly redefine the definition of love.